I have tried to ignore the elephant in the room for too long. This is now my third attempt to post an update so I hope this draft makes it to the publishing phase. We really enjoyed our summer immensely, but how can I post all of the wonderful things we did without acknowledging the loss of one of the most important people in my life. In all honesty, this has been a summer that I don't like to remember, but also one I never want to forget.
Within the course of a month I watched my Grandma Mare go from cooking us all dinner and working in her yard- to suffering in a hospital bed as a result of a horrible fall- to struggling to be able to communicate from the effects of a stroke- to the very last moments of her life on her death bed. I loved this lady so much, and it is still so difficult for me to think of the past few months without bursting in to tears. It was a difficult struggle for my entire family. It broke my heart to watch my mom lose her own mother. I am amazed at how well she has handled it all. Despite the many tears that we have all shed, I know that we have been given many tender mercies. I am so grateful that all of my cousins were able to attend the funeral. We have been very close over the years and we all felt those bonds as we mourned together. Many had to travel on short notice and from great distances. For my own immediate family, we were so blessed that my brother Jim had already made plans to visit for that exact week. As a plastic surgeon resident, he would not have been able to get the time off on such short notice. It meant more than anything to me to have all of my siblings there. I have missed my older brother and sister so much as they have lived away from home. I was so grateful to have my big sister here for an entire month (and my little sister who is always around). The three of us girls were there to pull each other through this difficult experience. Despite the wonderful memories with my kids, husband and the rest of my family this summer, I will always remember it as the summer I got to spend with my sisters. Sisters are one of the greatest blessings in the world.
I am so grateful for the last moments I had to spend with my Grandma. It was as if she knew and my Father in Heaven knew exactly what memories I would need to carry me through the rest of my life. I hope I will be able to exemplify my Grandma in some little way. She loved her family and was always the life of the party. She taught me to work hard and not to be afraid to get dirty. But she also taught me to enjoy life and to enjoy getting all dressed up. I want my children to know and remember my Grandma through me.
Now that I have finally been able to release some of these thoughts and emotions, I hope I can get back to the regular updates. Next time I'll be able to post about the absurd without feeling guilty for neglecting the meaningful.

We're Back!

So now that school is over, I feel like I can breathe again. I thought I had stopped procrastinating once I got out of school myself, but this is not true. Anna's school requires 30 hrs. of parental involvement and I left 22 hours until April. I have spent the past few months making preschool videos, cutting papers and mattes, separating Scholastic Booklets, making Kindergarten awards and calligraphying diplomas. (Don't tell the kids but their diplomas were actually signed by me, not their teacher.) When did graduating from Preschool and Kindergarten become such a big ordeal? I hardly remember kindergarten and never went to preschool--look how I turned out! Despite the big production, we did enjoy both Seth's and Anna's end-of-year programs. Seth played the role of the third little pig and Anna sang a darling song about moving on to first grade--put to the tune of "New York, New York."
Ruthie has turned into the embodiment of all personality. She walks around all day with something tucked under her arm and when she casually sets it down she exclaims, "Oh no! Where's the baby?" or "Oh, no! Where's the 'buppy'?" depending on what item she is currently torturing. She is still a total Daddy's girl. She won't even look at me anymore if Rob is home. She has all eyes for her Dad. Occasionally, I find myself turning a little green that Daddy is her favorite and not the Mama. But in truth, it is pretty sweet. I can't argue with her. She has great taste and we both absolutely adore the same guy.